TikTok user Abbey describes a "Help Wanted" ad that she saw on Craigslist, which starts like a normal ad. They're a “fun, fast-paced unique bar restaurant” looking for someone who will be “sober on the job” and “calm in a fast-paced environment.”
But then they switch gears.
“Please do not apply if you have no sense of humor or can’t handle skillful sarcasm, have no alarm clock, oversleep, have a cellphone battery that dies constantly preventing you from contacting us, Also if you have to give friends rides to work later than we start work, call out sick with an excuse because you partied too hard the night before your shift, experience flat tires every week and suddenly become deathly ill on Coachella and Splash House weekends. Do not apply if you need nights off because your grandma poisoned you with her ham again or your band has a gig and you need weekends off because your favorite roller derby team made it to the finals. Also no need to apply if you ordered takeout that is late and you have to be home to accept/pay for it, you’ve locked yourself in the house by mistake and there are no windows to crawl out of or if you want to work a few weeks before you go on your ‘European vacation.'”