Emily Perkins is a kindergarten teacher who tells the Today Show that parents always ask her what they can do to prepare their kids for that first year in school. The Kentucky educator is happy to tell them, but her answer is usually unexpected. It’s not showing five-year-olds how to tie their shoes, open their snacks or wash their hands. According to this teacher the most important thing is: “Tell your kid no.”
“‘No’ is not a bad word,” Perkins stresses. “Do not teach them that telling them ‘no’ invites them to argue with you, because if I can’t tell your child ‘no’ as an adult, and they don’t respect the ‘no,’ they’re basically unteachable.” The thing is, if a kid can’t accept hearing “no” from their parents, they’re not going to accept it from their teacher, and she says that makes it really hard to help them learn.
While a mom or dad may have time to explain why they’re saying “no” to their child, a teacher doesn’t always have that luxury and shouldn’t have to spell out her reasoning. “My whole job is explaining,” Perkins jokes. “Think of logistics — if we’re lining up for a fire drill, it’s, ‘No, you may not stay inside if the building is on fire’ or ‘No, you may not climb on the table because it’s not safe.’” Learning to accept the word “no” is an essential life skill, and one kids should be working on when they start elementary school, according to this expert.